Was a Mormon... now a Baptist

I have this weird thing that happens to me. If I'm woken up in the early morning, my brain starts going full blast, and I have to decide to get up and be productive or lay in bed hoping to doze off before the kids wake up. It's 4:30, Curtis woke me up to ask where his voter card is, so here I am, and I feel I've got to write this down! 

Today is election day, and we may or may not have a Mormon president starting in January. For our countries sake, I hope we do, but that's not what this blog is about. 

The first 17 years of my life, I was Mormon, and now I am Baptist. And you know what? The Mormons in my life are more accepting of me being a Christian than some Christians were when they found out I had been Mormon. Isn't that crazy? I mean really... Mormons are thought of as a "cult" and Christians quite literally declare they are CHRIST followers, meaning they love everyone. I think it's safe to say that I would have even been treated BETTER if I had never felt Christ's love before. Even though I know the Bible teachings almost as much as someone who graduated from Biola, it didn't make a difference. Regardless of people literally turning their back to me, denying me in small groups or even facilitating our own, pretending not to see me every single time they walked by me, and really hurting my heart, I pressed on. Luckily, I know Christ's love, and He can see what is going on and He is the true judge. I know every Christian isn't like this, but this was my experience, and still is today. 

This blog is not really about the judgement I received from my new church, but more to just let you know how this journey has been. I was the first one in my family to pave this path. I had no mentors because it seemed like everyone who was in my shoes was angry and bitter at the LDS church and believed every lie told to them, whereas I was never resentful. Every Christian I talked to had no idea how to help, IF they even wanted to. I had to realize that no Christian knew where I came from, and no Mormon knew where I was going...therefore no one had any answers, just opinions and things they "thought". So it was just me and God. 

The road traveled from where I was to where I am today has been a hard one. One of extreme conflict. Conflict between the thoughts engrained in my mind and the feelings of my heart. Conflict between what is right and wrong. People telling me that THIS Christ we adore is different then your OLD Christ.You have been worshiping an idol your whole life. How was that possible? You also are learning these lessons from HIS word, the bible, the SAME way I did for 17 years. Yes, a lot was added in terms of other books, but Moses still parted the Red Sea. God also taught to tithe. In Matthew, he taught to "let your light so shine before men, that they may see you're good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (5:16 KJV). In Revelations, he STILL says, " I am the Alpha and the Omega,"... "who is, and was, and who is to come..." (1:8 NIV).
 Leaving the LDS church alone is a difficult thing, but then to literally carve a new path of understanding was a whole new ballpark. At first, I thought maybe the bible was different. Not that I can tell so far! Then I thought, the pastor must be teaching different lessons. Nope... not so far! Sure my terminology was different, but is that enough to literally rebuke me? What was so different that made me so different? Isn't it possible that God blessed me with discernment and that I was different? I mean really, I chose to leave the church. My heart hurt at times, but I had to stay strong and figure it out for myself.

I've come to THIS point in my life, so far. I did not worship a different God. I can stand here today and tell you that MY GOD, my Savior is the same as He was when I first fell in love as a child. He is the same one who has blessed me beyond measure, and carried me through the rough times. Sure, my VIEW of Him has changed...I now view Him as one, and not two seperate beings, but He is the same. My VIEW has changed in my APPRECIATION of him because now He is so extremely, gigantically powerfully HUGE that he holds the whole millions of universes in his Hands, but He also is MY best friend and I can talk to him any time I want. I now believe in his Atonement for my sins and grace more than I ever did, because I don't believe my actions alone will get me in to Heaven, but since I yearn to learn more and fall more deeply in love with Him, He is saving me a spot... it's not something I'll earn.
This seems so simple, but I have been trying to figure out what the main differences in beliefs are between the two practices for over 2 years and it wasn't easy. Everyone wanted to tell me what the Mormons believed, but no one got that I wanted to know what they believed. I needed to know the theology behind it. These are the 3 things I have found so far... the Trinity, that God is my daddy, and He died on the cross for ALL of my sins, past, present, and future and his grace will allow me in to heaven. 

I'm still on a walk, and will never have all the answers. But, I believe God puts you in certain situations, and that others can learn from your experiences. I don't even know why I wrote this blog, especially because this is something super personal to me, but I did and hopefully someday it can help someone some where in some way!