The mom who has been replaced

I started this post days ago, but I'm happy I didn't post due to my emotions running rampant. I've been a walking nut case for the last 4 (longest) days. This whole full-time working mom adjustment is so different than I even anticipated. My emotions may be crazy and you may call me dramatic, but their raw and sensitive and real right now.

I knew I would miss my kiddos, but I had no idea I'd have a better water works show than Old Faithful every morning after I kissed my kiddos and watched a near stranger cuddle them on the couch. I didn't realize that my heart would feel heavy and sorrowful through out the day bemidst a smiling happy face. I am a tough cookie most of the time... not easily shaken, but this has gone to my core.


And call me crazy, but this lady who comes to watch MY kids also does MY laundry, folds MY clothes, cleans MY toilets... and it bugs me. And she does it so flawlessly. She even cleaned my bedroom and bathroom... including the cupboard under my vanity and my shower. Dang her!

And my kids are happy and healthy and don't run to me screaming with outstretched arms when she walks through the door. My husband said that he came home and "it was AMAZING! The kids were sitting on the couch all well behaved, British school style, and the house was immaculate!" Dang her! (And him!)

I felt replaced... forgotten... unimportant. Didn't my kids miss me? Didn't my husband realize that this is her first week - she's probably just trying to show off? I did all that too... sometimes. I was a good stay-at-home mom... right?

But, like I said... I'm glad I'm writing this today and not 3 days ago. I've got perspective now. My kids miss me, and it's obvious. They took turns wanting me to hold them this morning, hugging, kissing and not letting me put them down. They miss me. My babysitter is awesome. I have the luxury of coming home to a clean house, my laundry done, and my kids healthy, happy, and content. I've got the best baby sitter ever. I realize now, that it's going to be OK. It's getting easier and easier to turn the pressure down on my leaking eyes in the morning. It's just hours till I'll see my babies again. It'll be ok.






On a different note... I'm getting ready to post my first give away. Hint... it has to do with JuJuBee. For all you new or soon to be moms, or a great gift idea, this one is for you! What would you do if you won??