Day 13: thankful for...

DAY 13

 

Today, I am thankful for true friends...

 

As a project for our small group in the study of Crazy Love, we went around the room asking each other what is needed, and how we can help each other out. This turned out PREETTTY cool!

 

Today, I got to drop my THREE children off free of CHARGE because I have a sweet friend, Ashley, who has three kids of her own, mind you. She graciously took them after I was probably 20 minutes late, and had fun with them for four hours, and the extra 20 minutes that I was late at the end. I got a bunch of laundry done, all three bathrooms cleaned, the girls' clothes sorted, and a couple errands run... KID FREE!

 

It was pretty awesome!

 

 

 

Thank you, Ashley... that helped out a lot!

 

I just have to give props to my really awesome small group. After having some struggles making new friends that have the same beliefs and life struggles (even though no one is crazy enough to have 5 kids), I feel I was truly blessed to stumble upon these women. I don't think there is a single one of them that I can't call when the going gets rough. I hope they feel the same as me.

 

Having community is soooo important. especially for women. It takes effort, but it's what we all need. It seems as if the effort is out weighed by the rejuvination that comes with it. We need someone to help pick us up when we are down. Wipe away the tears, someone to cry with us. Lift each other up in prayer, and positive emails and nice notes. Our husbands are great and dandy for a good bear hug, but no one knows us like our girl friends do. I didn't have that for a long time. It was just me and the good old hubs. But lately, I really have been trying to cultivate relationships, as best as possible. It's been rewarding my life, and I feel truely loved.

 

 

 

I really urge everyone reading this to tell your friends you are grateful for them being in your life. If you don't have that best friend, keep looking. Sure, you're heart might get broken along the way. But don't let that stop you. Mine has, and very recently. Friends who I thought were friends really weren't, and I felt foolish for being so trusting. It hurt... and time passed... and I got back up on that horse. I once heard that only 2 people in your whole life time will you consider your closest, bestest friend. And I also believe that it is better to have love and lost, then to never loved at all.

 

 I'm grateful to have many friends along the way that I don't talk to daily, weekly, or even monthly. But I hope those people know that my door is always open, I'm still here, and I'm still thinking about you!

 

Have a good night...

 

ps.... only 9 days till Thanksgiving!! OMG! What are you're plans?

 

 



Day 9

I think I fixed the blog and starting to finally fall in love with it!

Day 9 ...

Today I am thankful for being UNIQUE!

i am short. a mother. a step-mom. a SpAz. an over analyzer. sensitive. always THINKING. a piano player. *a daughter of an almighty God*. a SnOwBoArDeR. ocd, creative.  an open book. i love my *children*. my husband. my dogs. my bedroom. to clean. self-help books. MUSIC. God.to LEARN new things. OVER ACHIEVING. praise.  i want to change a life. bRiNg SoMeOne To ChRiSt. love unconditionally. teach my children LOVE. be SLOW to anger. grow old. get my tattoo. have LIFE LONG girlfriends. *~dAnCe TiLL iM oLd~* be missed when I die. live a good life.

have a great 9th of November!!

Day 8- I'm thankful for...

So today I'm going to lighten it up a little bit. My last few posts have been

HEAVY!

But first... I need some help!

First... I would LOVE some feedback from my readers. I know there are a BILLION blogs out there, but I know I've got some readers (I can track you!) and I would love some feedback. Feedback that is positive and negative in a positive way are welcome. I don't require you to be signed up with blogger to post a comment, so you can even remain anonymous! If you do have an account, I would love if you'd add yourself as a follower!

Secondly, I just went through and changed the whole layout. Let me know what you think about it! I'm working on getting the main blog entries text easier to see, but the system has been a pain to me lately. Let me know if there are other things that can be fixed too!

Thirdly... Thank you for everyone who does take time to read this. I absolutely LOVE writing, I have done it since I was a teen. It's been the one nook in this crazy world that remains mine, and no one elses. I'm also still working on my niche, so it's going to bounce around, but hopefully I'll get in to a routine soon! So thank you for joining me on this journey!

Ok... upward and onward!!! I decided today that since I've been EXCELLENT at blogging daily, and NOT at posting what I'm thankful for on facebook, I could kill two birds with one stone- and get my fix for both!

Day 8 - Today, I am thankful for my son Maddox. I love him, with all of my heart, but there is something that uniquely just tugs at my heart strings. He has the innate ability to hear music in just normal everyday noises. For instance, we were at Target a few weeks ago and a car alarm was going off nearby. With out even thinking about it, he started bobbin his head to the beat. At first I laughed, but then after thinking about it, I started bobbin my head too. There's music all around us. There's reason to dance all around us... it just depends on your perspective. My first perspective of the car alarm was that it was reeeally annoying. But to a 19 month old... it held a great beat. Today, and hopefully every day I can look at the positive in all things, and let loose and dance, even if it is to a random car alarm. Thank you Maddox, for being so "in tune"!

Living the Fatherless life

I had an interesting encounter last night while working at the children's boutique. I was sitting in here, minding my business like always, when a young man came in to the store. He asked me how my night was going, I said my usual response of "fine, how about you" and he responded, "GREAT- I got a job!". I inquired further, half bothered because he was stealing precious moments of Pinterest away from me, but the other half was intrigued. I found out this young man found his first ever job, on his own, working for a call center making $11.50 an hour. He asked me how old he thought he was, doing this weird prance/not-staying-still motion the whole time. I replied, "18" in which he responded, "yes, but I feel 35". Within moments I had his whole life story. In the midst of the autobiography he verbally vomited at me, he had an excuse for living a difficult life filled with drug deals gone bad and transient adventures. His excuse was simply... "I didn't have a father".

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this young man. And our conversation raised an interesting thought in my mind.

My husband never got the opportunity to meet his father. He has two daughters, from seperate moms, and is not there every single day to live out all of their adventures with them. The oldest daughter's mother is extremely proactive in including my husband in everything that is the least bit important. On the other side of the spectrum, our second oldest daughter's mother doesn't communicate during the week (which is "her" time), even if she's lost her first tooth or done great in school; we're still wondering what she was for Halloween. 

The difference in the two girls is nothing to go unnoticed. While the first daughter is excelling in school, reading almost 2 grade levels ahead, and a pleasure to be around, the second daughter has been in two fights in the first few months of kindergarten. I'm not a psychologist, and I know there are probably other factors that could affect that, but I feel like it has a lot to do with the involvement of my husband in their lives. Through all of this, I'm seeing just how important a father is. I also believe there are two ways to deal with it (which may be easier said then done)... rise up or let it break you. Rise up, like my husband has done... being one of the greatest, most loving fathers anyone could ask for. Or let it break you, like this young man did - using it as an excuse for living the life he knew was sub-par.

My prayers are with this guy, and I encouraged him to come back in a visit me whenever he was in the mall. Hopefully he will be one to rise up.

Was a Mormon... now a Baptist

I have this weird thing that happens to me. If I'm woken up in the early morning, my brain starts going full blast, and I have to decide to get up and be productive or lay in bed hoping to doze off before the kids wake up. It's 4:30, Curtis woke me up to ask where his voter card is, so here I am, and I feel I've got to write this down! 

Today is election day, and we may or may not have a Mormon president starting in January. For our countries sake, I hope we do, but that's not what this blog is about. 

The first 17 years of my life, I was Mormon, and now I am Baptist. And you know what? The Mormons in my life are more accepting of me being a Christian than some Christians were when they found out I had been Mormon. Isn't that crazy? I mean really... Mormons are thought of as a "cult" and Christians quite literally declare they are CHRIST followers, meaning they love everyone. I think it's safe to say that I would have even been treated BETTER if I had never felt Christ's love before. Even though I know the Bible teachings almost as much as someone who graduated from Biola, it didn't make a difference. Regardless of people literally turning their back to me, denying me in small groups or even facilitating our own, pretending not to see me every single time they walked by me, and really hurting my heart, I pressed on. Luckily, I know Christ's love, and He can see what is going on and He is the true judge. I know every Christian isn't like this, but this was my experience, and still is today. 

This blog is not really about the judgement I received from my new church, but more to just let you know how this journey has been. I was the first one in my family to pave this path. I had no mentors because it seemed like everyone who was in my shoes was angry and bitter at the LDS church and believed every lie told to them, whereas I was never resentful. Every Christian I talked to had no idea how to help, IF they even wanted to. I had to realize that no Christian knew where I came from, and no Mormon knew where I was going...therefore no one had any answers, just opinions and things they "thought". So it was just me and God. 

The road traveled from where I was to where I am today has been a hard one. One of extreme conflict. Conflict between the thoughts engrained in my mind and the feelings of my heart. Conflict between what is right and wrong. People telling me that THIS Christ we adore is different then your OLD Christ.You have been worshiping an idol your whole life. How was that possible? You also are learning these lessons from HIS word, the bible, the SAME way I did for 17 years. Yes, a lot was added in terms of other books, but Moses still parted the Red Sea. God also taught to tithe. In Matthew, he taught to "let your light so shine before men, that they may see you're good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (5:16 KJV). In Revelations, he STILL says, " I am the Alpha and the Omega,"... "who is, and was, and who is to come..." (1:8 NIV).
 Leaving the LDS church alone is a difficult thing, but then to literally carve a new path of understanding was a whole new ballpark. At first, I thought maybe the bible was different. Not that I can tell so far! Then I thought, the pastor must be teaching different lessons. Nope... not so far! Sure my terminology was different, but is that enough to literally rebuke me? What was so different that made me so different? Isn't it possible that God blessed me with discernment and that I was different? I mean really, I chose to leave the church. My heart hurt at times, but I had to stay strong and figure it out for myself.

I've come to THIS point in my life, so far. I did not worship a different God. I can stand here today and tell you that MY GOD, my Savior is the same as He was when I first fell in love as a child. He is the same one who has blessed me beyond measure, and carried me through the rough times. Sure, my VIEW of Him has changed...I now view Him as one, and not two seperate beings, but He is the same. My VIEW has changed in my APPRECIATION of him because now He is so extremely, gigantically powerfully HUGE that he holds the whole millions of universes in his Hands, but He also is MY best friend and I can talk to him any time I want. I now believe in his Atonement for my sins and grace more than I ever did, because I don't believe my actions alone will get me in to Heaven, but since I yearn to learn more and fall more deeply in love with Him, He is saving me a spot... it's not something I'll earn.
This seems so simple, but I have been trying to figure out what the main differences in beliefs are between the two practices for over 2 years and it wasn't easy. Everyone wanted to tell me what the Mormons believed, but no one got that I wanted to know what they believed. I needed to know the theology behind it. These are the 3 things I have found so far... the Trinity, that God is my daddy, and He died on the cross for ALL of my sins, past, present, and future and his grace will allow me in to heaven. 

I'm still on a walk, and will never have all the answers. But, I believe God puts you in certain situations, and that others can learn from your experiences. I don't even know why I wrote this blog, especially because this is something super personal to me, but I did and hopefully someday it can help someone some where in some way!

L&D... my experience... your gain

After FINALLY hearing the triage nurse say," yep... your in labor!", getting wheeled back past the swinging doors to the mystical place where little lives were first introduced to the world, and realizing THIS IS IT, I knew I was in love. I loved the whole experience... even from the false calls (or high hopes) and being sent home because it was not time yet, to the cutting of the wristbands, clearing the way to embark on the scariest car ride of my life. It was a mix of emotions with thoughts flooding my head.

Am I ready? 

Are WE ready? 

Am I going to be a good mom? 

Is this totally going to gross out my husband? 

What if she gets stuck? 

Only one way to find out... Let's GO! 

Here's a couple of things that truly made a difference and my best pieces of advice.

There are a lot of people that I know that are pregnant for the first time, and a few that are for the second time. I had three, and they were all completely different. With Brooklyn, my water "leaked" but they had to start active labor with Pitocin. With Maddox, I had contractions and went in... it was the "normal" labor. With London, I was induced. This being said, I don't think you can be a pro at this, per se, but I hope my experiences help. 

With ALL THREE, I went in "thinking" I was in labor, just to be sent home. When people say "it happens to almost everyone", they're not just saying that to make you feel better... it's the truth. It is better to be safe than sorry. And you're obviously no better than me if you do! 

I realized something SUPER important after having Brooklyn that paid off with the other two... I realized I needed to be REALLY nosy and voice my opinion. Before I had Brooklyn, I knew something was going on because I had soaked through pants after pants. My doctor's nurse told me when I called that it definitely was not my water breaking. If it was, it would have gushed, and I quote, "like in the movies".

 My doctor is lucky that he is Ah-mazing! I started googling, and luckily I realized that I was right, and she was not. Brooklyn was "Sunny side up" so her head was acting as a plug, only letting my water out in little bits. When it hurts, tell the nurses. When you want the epidural, if you choose to have one, tell the nurse. If you feel the urge to push, tell the nurse. When you want more epidural juice, tell them. They are here to help YOU be as comfortable and healthy as possible through this whole process, and so they need to know what's going on. When I was in labor with London, my last, the doc asked the nurse over the walkie-talkie thing if he had time to finish up a surgery. I screamed, "HELL NO!", and good thing he heard me because if not, that nurse would have delivered her!

My plan is to follow this up with a couple more blogs on the topic, since obviously nap time has concluded for the day here at the Gaithers... so stay tuned!

Friend Highlight!: Family of Festivals

Friend Highlights!

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Family of Festivals, Love is Alive







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Join the Family to get linked in, and to be able to comment and get updates on latest events, comments in forums, and discounts on store items.

If ever there is a festival or show that's not listed, spark up the convo and get you're friends in on getting ready for those festivals!



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www.familyoffestivals.com by Ari Singleton